Nursing Nest

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. That is my lesson this week. I continue to find that I try to embark in projects and tasks which are simply impossible while trying to raise a child - at least one in the toddler stage. Why do I keep trying? I really don't know. But I find that my constant attempts to do so cause me much frustration, anger and sadness. What I have concluded is that I need to stop trying. The fact is, my priority is doing my best to be a good parent to my daughter, and that means that everything else goes lower down the priority pole. I have found that in order to reduce my negative emotions, I need to change my mental processes. I mean really change them. Instead of trying to put my daughter down when she falls asleep on my lap, only to find that most times she'll wake up and cry, I have to understand that she has a need to remain on my lap and keep her there. And instead of being pissed that I can't then chip something off of the endless list of things to do while she sleeps, decide that these things must be chipped at earlier or later, but not then. Or, pile some things near by, so that I can work on them when she is sleeping. Ah. Thus the nursing nest. My La Leche League chapter members (great ladies) have mentioned the nursing nest, and I sort of thought I had one. Or at least one. I really didn't. A nursing nest is a place to sit and nurse your baby while caring for yourself. So it should have all of the things that the two of you require to be happy in that spot. For her, me, pillows and quiet. For me, a good book or magazine, some bills and my checkbook, some nibbles, some tea...Considering I'm just starting to put it together, I don't know what all it needs just yet. Today, while my warm cozy daughter snoozed and nursed (off and on) for almost three hours, I contented myself by reading Mothering Your Nursing Toddler, by Norma Jean Bumgarter. I managed to feel quite content for that time period, and did not stress about other things. (That came later) So I'm working on it. And I'm realizing that the time I get with her like this, this incredible intimacy I have with this little girl, is fleeting, and if I spend my time thinking about what I could be doing, I'll miss the greatest opportunity I've been given yet. And really...would I rather be doing anything else?