Fate, nature, nurture

What causes a piece of driftwood to travel from point A to point B? On the surface, literally, the influences are obvious. The water is this high, and the tide travels this way, and the shape of the water way is thus... The underlying influences are just as important, but far less obvious. Currents. Temperature of the water. Other items and life forces in the water and beneath - and above. The moon. Etc.

And so it is with our lives. Our decisions. Our way of carrying ourselves, our way of molding our children. Our reactions to seeing a parent scold a child (or a child wearing a strange outfit, or a parent handing a child something we would ordinarily disapprove of...) before becoming a parent, and after. On the surface we can see what influences a person to behave in certain ways. We cannot see the influences under the surface. We can guess, but mostly we choose not to. We see the driftwood spin in an unexpected way, and we stop, briefly, to wonder what caused it. With people the pause is also brief, though the thought, the guess at the sudden change in direction tends to hold more conviction. More emotion. More judgement. If the driftwood does something out of character, it is an interesting phenomenon. If a person does something out of character, it causes us to question everything we do, think, depend on, to keep balance in our lives. Suddenly we cannot depend on the tides, the currents, the pull of the moon, to take us where it always has. We have to adjust, reset our coordinates, find comfort in our slightly different place.

These influences come at us all, little and big, from all directions, all the time. We bob along, doing our best to adjust to the changes and adjustments as best we can. Sometimes we go with the flow, sometimes we fight (although it's ultimately fruitless, the change comes along regardless, with little influence from us.) We reach out, mentally, to others who seem to be at a similar circumstance. We question the purposes of our twists and turns. We feel comfort in those who have gone before us, who have survived the rapids intact. We feel for those who are farther down the river, as well as those who have recently fallen in the water.

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