In?

A couple of weeks ago I was feeling pretty down. Pretty typical, my feelings, for a stay-at-home mom. I was bored, lonely, and happy, all rolled into one. How do you explain that? Well, simple. Life is joyous with dd. I love being her mom, and I love having a schedule that can be rewritten whenever I feel like it (for the most part). I don't, however, like having so little contact with other adults. I mean I see and spend time with adults all the time, but I don't seem to have much CONTACT with them. I wonder about myself. I used to be so outgoing. I had friends up the wazoo. I was the social coordinator! What happened to me? Is it me? Is it my age? My circumstance? I don't know. I do know I desparately want some people to want to hang out with me, in my circumstance. (I have a work ?friend? who completely changed after I had dd - we used to get together a lot, now it's like once a month, and it took a while to get up to that. She never asks about dd, and in the past when I've brought dd with me to visit work, she wouldn't even look at her!) Anyhow...

What I decided to do to counter my blues was to make us BUSY. Last week I took us to a library program on Monday, a Children's Museum on Tuesday, a MOMS Club playdate on Wednesday, offered to host a playdate on Thursday (the person cancelled at the last minute) and Waldorf parent/child program on Friday. Phew! But! I started to feel better. I headed into this week with the same plan. We again went to the library program yesterday, and today we went to the Children's Museum program. WELL...

While we were there, a woman approached me and asked me if I live in (the neighborhood I live in). I said yes, and she introduced herself and the woman she was there with, and said that they both live in the same neighborhood. We chatted a little, and we ended up exchanging contact info. I went home feeling good, but also skeptical. I have tried to connect with people before (not neighborhood people but others) and I get my hopes up only to have it come to nothing. I sent a friendly, brief email to the two women saying that I was glad to have met them, and that maybe they'd like to come for a playdate sometime, etc. I received an email from each of them very quickly afterwards, and the one who originally approached me told me they get together with a bunch of women from the neighborhood, do activities with the kids, and do moms nights out every month! The woman told me there is one scheduled for next week, and invited me to come. She told the host of the evening she had met me, and that person extended an invitation as well.

I completely feel the need to dampen down my tendency to get very psyched about this kind of thing. I really want to make friends, but don't want my expectations to exceed the possibilities here. But it would be so nice to know some people in the 'hood, and for Erin to meet some of the kids she'll be growing up with. So basically, too late, my hopes are up. Dammit.

Now I just have to get the nerve up to go to the gathering next week. Hey, it's something to focus on and stress about other than my stupid thyroid.

It's the one thing I always say is the one drawback to living here. I can't seem to make good friends.

Well, I'll update on this at some point...

Theories

I have lots of them. In fact, I interview myself often. I ask myself, "What do you feel about such and such? Do you prefer A or B?" I am always very interested in my replies as well.

One theory is that children learn what you teach them. If you say to them, "May I have that rubber duck?" They are more likely to say, "May I have some orange juice?" Whereas if you say, "Give me that rubber duck!!" the child is more likely to say, "Orange juice!!" Though it may just be that I have a polite child. Another thought along this line is that people have a tendency to want to simplify words and concepts for children, to make it easier for them to understand. But they will understand what you teach them. (Within reason, obviously) Why is it people think "birdie" is more comprehensible to a child than "bird" I will never understand. Wook at the widdle birdie, so and so! And they wonder why their children are not keeping up in school. They need to learn English first!

Another theory, tested by others too, is that children are far more likely to imitate behaviors and actions than they are to respond to what they are told. I.E. although I've told my dd that soda is not good for you as it is full of sugar and has no nutritional value, she asks for it from time to time. Why? Because I drink it. In fact, I really did not realize how often I drink it until she started to want it too. The first couple of times she took a tiny sip of my soda, she obviously wasn't sure to make of it - sweet and fizzy.....but she has accustomed herself to it, to be like me.

I've got theories on everything, not just kids and child-rearing.

I theorize that Americans feed themselves extremely poorly. What I can't figure out is why. My daughter eats very healthy foods, in part because she has been offered healthy foods since she started to eat solids, and in part because they are her preference. It is very difficult to feed her away from home! Ever study a children's menu?? It's disgusting. Grilled cheese fried in butter, hotdogs on white buns fried in butter, macaroni and cheese.......and we wonder why we have a weight problem in this country!! I used to peruse the children's menu in restaurants for the fun of it, thinking that maybe this one would have a healthy, interesting option. Not a one does. So I order something for both of us from the regular menu. Unfortunately oftentimes the selections from that menu are all crap, too. So either she eats nothing, even when offered what I have, or she is so hungry she eats the crap. I am at a point, I feel, where I have to be very careful about continuing my efforts to provide her with heatlhy foods, despite the extra work that requires, rather that continuing to offer the crap out of convenience. Hey, if she can adjust that quickly to drinking soda, why not a McDonald's burger? I have to give credit to one restaurant. It is at the Animal Kingdom Lodge in Florida, but I can't remember the name. It had a dinner dish that had so many of dd's favorite foods in it it truly was too good to be true. It was healthy, huge (we shared) and delicious. We were both so happy. Why is that the exception to the rule??

More theories to come another day......