Christmas, or Why do we do this to ourselves?

Well after years of promising myself, I've finally done it this year. I bought everything I needed to buy, and mailed everything I needed to mail, and I did it with time to spare. For the first time (probably ever) I can relax and (enjoy?) the days leading up to Christmas. In fact it's so strange that I keep wondering what I've forgotten. Because DH and DD spend some quality time together each night leaving me with a little time alone, I did a little gift-wrapping each night for a few nights, then found I had finished that, too. Now what do I do? =+0 Actually, it really is quite nice. I've been to the mall a couple of times with DD, and as people frantically rush about just to stand in long lines, we stroll by watching it all. I thoroughly enjoy watching this all through DD's eyes, and my heart fills with joy as she repeats, "Tell Santa, Tell Santa," when she sees something she wants! At the age of 27 months, DD has become a candy fanatic. (SIGHS!) She just loves to put candy canes on the tree, take them off, pile them up somewhere, and start the process over again. She will say, "I want this one, no this one, no THIS one..." Or she'll just say, "After dinner!" "Brush my teeth!" "High in sugar!" If one is able to step back and pull one's head out of somewhere long enough, it really is cute. I mean, I have eaten several people's share of candy in my lifetime, and have lived to talk about it. But I digress. Christmas. Once again this year, my father has asked everyone to leave him alone on Christmas. He tells us that he has resentments from the past in which he was pulled this way and that during the holidays, and he does not want to put anyone in that position now. As a result, no one from "our side" of the family will see each other til the end of the month, when we'll travel together. Hey, that works for me. At least I get to immerse myself in (insert my maiden name here) 's then. It bums me out a bit that DD will not spend a Christmas the way I did, at my parents' house in our fashion. But I am insisting that we have our morning at home, so that will be a big part of her memories of Christmas growing up. (We spend Christmas eve at DH's father's, and Christmas day at DH's mother's. When I recently asked him what time we were expected at his mom's, he suggested 10am. I quickly changed it to about noon...) In any event, obviously Christmas is a time of push-me-pull-you, worries, resentments, and general chaos. It's too easy to get caught up in all of that. The ones I am thinking a lot about lately are the folks who go without, this time of year and any other. It's my nature, I guess. Blabla. On another note, I just put a ribbon on this toy of Erin's. It was the first toy she batted at as an infant. It holds great meaning to me. Now it is hanging from our tree. =+)

Seasonal Woes

Every year I say I'm going to be more organized with holiday obligations than I was the year before, and every year it's the same ole stress. I ordered several Amazon.com gifts this year, in NOVEMBER. Some claim they will not arrive until AFTER Christmas. I ask you, are they being sent from Vietnam? What do I do now? Get more **it that people don't want, and give them the other sh** I ordered for them when it arrives? What is the point in planning ahead? It is very frustrating. Now I am at my typical point of making list after list of stuff I still need to obtain. And these days every trip somewhere is a 20 minute foray to somewhere, which I try to combine with other necessary errands, including something interesting for dd. UGH. I really want to have everything at least ordered by the first week of December, which ends in 2 days. What are the chances? Slim. I get so sick of it all before it even starts. I really want to enjoy Christmas. If I can get everything bought, here, wrapped, mailed, etc., asap, then maybe I can relax some and enjoy the season. Sighs. Maybe I'll be more organized next year...